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Okay, friends. Come close to the screen because we have a lot of information to get through and we’re going to do it fast. Rihanna Robyn Fenty just made history again. And no, it’s not related to her upending the beauty industry with Fenty Beauty (though she did set a new standard for what a foundation shade range should look like). Nor is it the groundbreaking deal she secured with Amazon to show her Savage x Fenty show in 200 countries around the world, killing the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in the process. It’s not even her LVMH-backed clothing and accessories line, Fenty, that disrupted the way we shop for luxury items. It all centers around her latest Vogue cover.

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So proud to be on another cover of @voguemagazine wearing my own designs from @fenty !!! On stands October 16th! Photographer : @ethanjamesgreen Fashion Editor: @tonnegood Hair: @yusefhairnyc Makeup: Kanako Takase

A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on Oct 9, 2019 at 6:34am PDT

On Wednesday, Vogue magazine shared its November 2019 cover starring Rihanna. “So proud to be on another cover of @voguemagazine wearing my own designs from @fenty !!! On stands October 16th!” she shared on Instagram.

Here’s where the historic part comes in: This is Rihanna’s sixth cover for the publication, which means she now has the most solo American Vogue covers of any black woman in history. Prior to this month, she covered the magazine in April 2011, November 2012, March 2014, April 2016, and June 2018. Previously, Rihanna and Shari Belafonte were tied for the same amount of solo American Vogue covers with five. (Belafonte’s first cover was shot by Richard Avedon in 1982 and she had five throughout the ’80s.) Naomi Campbell has two solo American Vogue covers, and Lupita Nyong’o and Beyoncé both have four.

Inside the issue, Rihanna talks about which fashion houses give her designer envy (Balenciaga!) and she breaks down the Fenty brand ethos. Jahleel Weaver, Fenty maison’s style director, tells Vogue that in order to cement the brand’s design aesthetic, he had to stop limiting it to one aspect of Rihanna’s style. “‘It’s kind of all over the place. But I get it ’cause I’m all over the place,’” he recalls her saying. “Every woman isn’t Rihanna, but many women relate to her all-over-the-place-ness. She is fearless, but she is also a businesswoman. She’s a girlfriend. She’s a friend. She’s all of these things.”

Rihanna’s sixth Vogue magazine cover hits newsstands October 16, 2019.

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In Refinery29’s Unpopular Opinion, we go outside the Twitter bubble to hear from our readers what they really think about the 2020 election, what issues they care about, and more. Share your own unpopular opinion here.

Age: 34

Lives in: L.A.

Job: Associate director of development for a foundation

Party affiliation: Democrat

On which “hot-button” issues would you like to see more compromise in our current political discourse?

“Both sides have taken the extreme position on reproductive health, and it’s frightening. I am a pro-choice Democrat who also identifies as Catholic. I’m actually trying to hide in a conference room while I say that, because I work in the Catholic Church. But I find myself to be more moderate than a lot of my contemporaries in that I wish that when we talked about women’s healthcare and abortion and birth control, we would come at it from a place of compassion for the people who are affected by it, instead of from a place of judgment. 

“I believe that we should have common-sense laws for family planning that really define when ending a pregnancy is appropriate and healthy. We need to debunk a lot of those myths about abortion causing breast cancer and other health problems, or psychological issues. And instead of continuously protesting against it, trying to pass things like ‘heartbeat laws,’ that we start looking at it from a place of compassion to understand what we can do for young people and women and children as they’re growing up, to see how we can heal society so that this isn’t as common. But this would also involve the Catholic Church condoning birth control, so I’m not holding my breath.”

You said you believe that both sides have taken extreme positions on reproductive health. Can you please elaborate on this? What do you think it would take to come together?

“Obviously the right has taken an extreme position in the laws that they’ve passed under the guise of supporting women’s health, to make access to abortion illegal in most, if not all, circumstances in certain states. And that is scary, because when I hear that this is happening, the first thing I think is, When is it going to make the news that people are dying from self-inflicted abortions? But I’m in the camp of Bill Clinton’s ‘safe, legal, and rare’ abortions. I think Planned Parenthood does a really good job in their communications. But the sound bites we get from some spokespeople on the left, saying, ‘Abortion should be available always to everybody no matter what,’ that’s not my stance. 

“Instead, we really need to be combining reproductive rights advocacy with education and initiatives to teach children and young people how to take care of themselves and their bodies, and to understand human biology and reproduction. I think that abortion ought to be available as a medical procedure when it’s necessitated and when it’s safe, and that it not be compared to some macabre practice from a haunted house. But I think there needs to be a level of compassion for the other side, too. Because obviously there are people who really, truly believe that it’s genocide. And trying to understand that is the only way that there can be any headway, or else you’ll just have a country divided wherein in half the states you can do it and in half the states you can’t.”

What is your take on third-trimester abortions? Advocates fear that restricting them would make it even harder for people who have to make this rare, difficult decision. But some on the right are distorting what the procedure is.

“It is an enormous surgical procedure that is absolutely necessitated often because somebody’s life is in danger. But when this is communicated, the conversation seems to turn to Democrats wanting to ‘murder babies.’ I don’t know what kind of PR campaign needs to happen, but I know that nobody wants to murder babies, and you know nobody wants to murder babies. There needs to be a way to communicate that to those people who are so passionate. Personally, the biggest problem I find in the ‘pro-life’ movement is that it’s only focused on one thing about life. If the same people had the same passion, charisma, and energy around ending gun violence or ending the death penalty, there could absolutely be headway made and lives saved. Turning it into one issue, I think, is an absolute hypocrisy that I have a lot of trouble with.”

How has your life changed since Trump was elected?

“One thing that happened really stands out to me. I worked as an administrator in a pre-K-through-8 school in a community of immigrants, many of whom were undocumented, and all of whom were very poor. The fear was palpable. Children were constantly worried that their parents, grandparents, and siblings would be taken by ICE; we had to hire more counselors to come in and teachers went to workshops to learn how to better support their students. And then, two young students’ mother was taken during school one day. It was terrifying. She was actually released, which was a huge blessing, but all of a sudden it became very, very real that the people we knew could start disappearing and ending up at detention facilities. 

“We realized that as administrators, we needed to have plans in place that we never thought we would need to. We had to start a first-response support team with a phone tree, and we partnered with a law clinic that helped a lot of our families. We had to learn how to deal with the Los Angeles Police Department, which would sometimes come pick up a child if their parent was detained. All of a sudden, this was a world that we never thought we would be living in.”

What are your thoughts on how the Democratic presidential primary race is going, including the debates?

“Well, I loved Andrew Yang in the debates, and I think he’s been dismissed by a lot of political commentators because his freedom dividend [giving every citizen $1,000 a month] is seen as gimmicky. I think that’s pretty disappointing, because to me it seems like a really interesting idea. I think he would be a great politician even at a state level, too. So I’m hoping that’s not the last we’ve seen of him. I am also a big fan of Bernie Sanders. He is absolutely incorruptible, and that is refreshing. I’m trying to be optimistic that the Democrats will choose a candidate that people will want to rally behind on the same level as they did behind Obama in 2008. We need somebody who is going to make us feel hopeful again.”

This interview has been edited and condensed.

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In our series My 6-Figure Paycheck, women making more than $100,000 open up about how they got there and what exactly they do. We take a closer look at what it feels like to be a woman making six-figures — when only 5% of American women make that much, according to the U.S. Census — with the hope it will give women insight into how to better navigate their own career and salary trajectories.

Today, we chat with an operations implementation manager from Austin, TX. Previously, we spoke to a marketing strategic lead in Los Angeles, an international tax manager in Pittsburgh, PA, and a physician in Philadelphia.

Job: Operations Manager in Fashion/Technology

Age: 31

Location: Austin, TX

Degree: Bachelor’s in PR, English

First Salary: $39,000

Current Salary: $117,000

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a professional gymnast. When I started to realize that may not be a long-term career path, I thought I’d want to be an astronaut or a marine biologist. Ironically, I didn’t wind up pursuing science in school but do still wish I had.”

What did you study in college?

“I went to college and got an undergrad degree in PR. I graduated at 21 and always intended to go back to grad school, but never wound up having the financial freedom to quit working long enough to go. I wanted to get an MBA, but I didn’t know how I was going to be able to shoulder the $90K in debt while trying to live on a very humble salary out of school. If I could go back, I’d get an undergrad in computer science and a minor in business and call it a day. Now that I’m ten years out of school and have years of work experience, I’ve finally let my insecurities around not having a master’s go.”

Did you have to take out student loans?

“I took out about $50K for student loans and paid them off in three years out of school. I ate a lot of ramen, worked full-time while in college, and had two jobs once I got out of school.”

Have you been working at this company since you graduated from college?

“I have had a wild ride career-wise since college. I was the director at a startup, joined a different startup that was acquired by a major player in the performance fitness space, freelanced for a year (had four or five jobs), and then have been at my current company for over four years.”

How would you explain your day-to-day role at your job?

“I help build tools and create processes for a client-experience team for a big business that’s expanding globally in the retail and fashion space. I used to manage large teams of people, but now primarily manage projects and product development.”

Did you negotiate your salary?

“The first few jobs I tried to negotiate, but I have a long history working for startups that often had small budgets and couldn’t give more at the time. I will say, I always worked for companies that had a mission and values I aligned with, and I actually counted those as part of my compensation because those have always been important to me. My current salary is comped based on market standards, and company-wide, salary negotiations aren’t how we collectively choose to determine comp.”

Is your current job your “passion”? If not, what is?

“Actually, I’m lucky enough to be able to say yes. I love my job. I absolutely love it. The value system of the people I work for is incredible, and they’re making smart business decisions while maintaining their soul. I feel so incredibly fortunate to be able to interact with people in my professional life in a way that I choose to in my personal life as well, and that is something that, outside of money or even work required, I’m deeply passionate about. As for long-term passion, I have an entrepreneurial streak in me and am starting my own business on the side of my full-time job. Eventually I’d like to grow that into a place where we can expand nationally, and then I’ll step out of hustling hard on someone else’s dream and chase my own with all of my attention and energy!”

If you could, would you change anything in your career trajectory?

“Absolutely nothing about the past ten years of my life would be anything that I would change. I started with very meager pay and a simple lifestyle, only worked for companies that I aligned with that have good ethics, worked really, really hard wherever I was, and 100% earned my way up to where I’m at now. Those years of cranking at places that taught me what I know today made me tough, kind, and secure enough in my own intellect and work ethic to feel confident that I’ll be okay wherever I go next. I feel gratitude every day for where I’m at, but none of it was luck.”

What professional advice would you give your younger self?

“You are only as good as the people around you. Vulnerability and asking for help is not a weakness. Pull up a seat at the boys’ table, even if they don’t invite you. Be kind but be direct, and understand that being a true leader takes more work and effort behind the scenes than you could ever possibly prepare for until you’re in it. It’s easy to see someone on Instagram or in a Refinery29 post that you think encapsulates the definition of “successful,” but what you don’t see is the hours of effort and the untold “failures” those same folks have experienced in private. Success is a dirty word, and I think we should do away with it. Work hard, be kind, be truly confident, and chase what is right for you. Then everything else (money included) will follow shortly after.”

Are you a woman under 35 with a six-figure salary ($100,000+) and want to tell your story? Submit it here.

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Anyone who follows the independent-brand space or the world of off-price retail knows that one is not likely to find that colorful, past-season Dusen Dusen or a Rachel Antonoff shift dress at a big-box discount store like TJ Maxx or Nordstrom Rack. The past-season stock of the former usually ends up getting sold off at a hyper-local sample sale in the designer’s hometown (sorry, non-coastal dwellers), and the bread-and-butter of the latter are the type of household-name brands that produce deep piles of inventory. There hasn’t been much overlap between these two worlds — until now.

Last month, Rachel Gannon — former buying and merchandising director at the “serious about fun” online retailer ban.do — launched Cara Cara, a members-only e-commerce destination specializing in past-season goods from independent heavy-hitters like Samantha Pleet, Charlotte Stone, Baggu, and Crap Eyewear priced at 20% – 60% of their original retail cost. As smaller and “slower” fashion brands lack the inventory volume that the larger discount retailers require to place orders, there is “a huge white space in the market,” according to Gannon, for designers with comparatively smaller production levels to take advantage of the off-price retail model.

At ban.do, the beloved lifestyle shop that we personally browse on the daily, Rachel was instrumental in building out a cool and carefree selection of apparel, accessories, and jewelry, ensuring that there was a mix of recognizable staple brands like Vans and Levi’s alongside female-owned and independent labels. She knew from years of working with designers big and small that they all shared the burden of unsold inventory. She even faced this problem at ban.do: “There’s nothing we could do except to put it on sale, and then the sale section starts to really clutter up the website.” Smaller brands often dealt with unsold stock by teaming up with fellow-brands to stage sample sales that gave limited access to a small pool of customers.

Early-career experience at RueLaLa and Macy’s also gave Gannon insight into the power of both the flash sale and perma-discounted off-season product. She knew that both strategies held an innate appeal, but wanted Cara Cara “to be a reinvention of that traditional off-price retail store. We wanted to bring more personality to it,” she says — along with a type of product that customers couldn’t get from the established players.

Gannon knew she was onto something when her initial outreach was unanimously well-received: after writing “a long email explaining the idea” to the select handful of brands she wanted Cara Cara to launch with, she says, “they were like, yes; we need this; it’s genius. They were all so excited and so supportive.” She then tapped two trusted people to come on as COO and creative director, respectively: her brother, John Gannon, a software engineer at Google, and photographer and art director Danielle Adams. “I pitched them on the idea and they were both like, ‘We love it. We’re in.’”

Almost a year later, Cara Cara is live and replete with an assortment that boasts a relaxed, joyful, and color-happy sensibility; and bearing a cheeky name that acknowledges Gannon and Adams’ shared “obsession” with a certain type of navel orange that contains a surprisingly rose-colored inner flesh. “We liked the idea that there’s something unexpected about [Cara Cara oranges]. On the inside, they’re juicy and sweet, which is similar to what we’re aiming to accomplish with our discounts — juicy deals!”

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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If you’ve always wanted to be on the receiving end of one of Issa Rae’s signature motivational mirror talks, you’re in luck, because now, when you ask your Google Assistant how you look in the morning, you’ll hear her voice on the other end with a confidence-boosting affirmation. Starting today, Issa Rae is following in John Legend’s footsteps as the second-ever Google Assistant cameo voice, which you can access on any Google Assistant-enabled device, including Google Pixel, Google Home, and the new Google Nest Hub Max, as well as on the Google Assistant app for iOS.

You can ask her normal Google Assistant fare, like about the weather or even for a good pick-me-up joke, but the real fun is in the Issa-specific questions — like, “Hey Google, do you have any dating advice?” To enable her voice, all you have to do is say “Hey Google, talk like Issa,” or go to Assistant Voice in Assistant Settings.

Rae is a big fan Google Assistant, telling Refinery29 that she actually has a Google Home in her trailer, where she works in between scenes, and is constantly using it for scheduling. “I’m a big reminder person. I’m always talking to myself out loud — to remind myself to read a script or to remind myself to set up a meeting. I’m also big on music, and obviously it links to Spotify, which I use every single day, almost every hour, so it’s really helpful to be able to use it there. And a lot of scheduling stuff, which is the biggest headache in my life. Travel plans, things like that. I really use it for everything that just makes my life easier,” she reveals.

As to whether she’ll opt to use her own voice for her personal Google Assistant, Rae says she is undecided at the moment. “I’m going back and forth. I don’t know, because I guess it’ll be less crazy if I’m talking to myself and I respond, or maybe more crazy,” she says. “I’m definitely going to give it a shot and see what it sounds like — and I want to discover those Issa eggs. I’ll report back.”

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Meet the non-human primates who tell us everything our culture doesn’t want to hear about female sexuality.

You’ve probably heard about bonobos — close relatives of chimps who are somewhat skinnier, and are native to the Democratic Republic of Congo. In the popular imagination, bonobos have a somewhat hippie-ish reputation. They’re portrayed as the “free love” primates, but are also supposedly a more likable, peaceable version of their stressed-out, lashing-out chimp cousins. Several articles even refer to bonobos as pacific, “Make love not war” “swingers.” It has long been believed that bonobos have sex to diffuse potential tension — when they come upon a cache of food, for example, or a new bonobo troop, having sex is a way to bond and take the stress level down.

Dr. Amy Parish, a primatologist who has studied bonobos for her entire career, pointed out that this was happening as we observed them being fed in their enclosure at the San Diego Zoo (many primatologists who study bonobos believe they behave basically the same way under human care and in their natural environment). Once the food was flung down to them, at least one pair of bonobos began to “consort” immediately, and others followed. Only after getting down did they get down to the business of eating. 

Early in her career, Parish, who has blonde hair and wore heart-shaped sunglasses the first day we met, and whose voice has a sing-songy, So-Cal inflection, noted that bonobos were female affiliative, socially gregarious, and very sexual. She also quickly realized that females ate first, and got groomed more often than the males; and that there was a clear pattern of female-on-male violence. Females swatted, chased, smacked, gouged, and bit males, who mostly seemed to know better than to annoy them.

Eventually, Parish observed a male in Frankfurt with only eight digits intact, and she learned of another male who had had his penis nearly severed from his body (the vet was able to reattach it, and the male went on to have erections and successfully reproduce, though you have to wonder how good he felt about the females from then on). Parish asked her mentor at the time, Franz De Waal, about it. He had worked with the San Diego Zoo population in the 1980s, and had in fact recorded a list of injuries but didn’t recall the males being injured more often or more seriously than the females. Still, Parish asked to see records — both De Waal’s and the logs zoo veterinarians had kept of bonobo injuries over the years. Sure enough, of a total of 25 serious injuries, 24 were inflicted on males. By females. 

That clinched it for Parish. She realized that bonobos were female affiliative, female bonded, and, most extraordinarily of all, female dominant, sufficiently so that females eat first, are groomed more often, and have the authority to attack males. All this in spite of the males being physically larger and ensconced within a kin network of automatic allies (female bonobos leave their families, their natural power base, at sexual maturity, in order to join another troop and better avoid in-breeding).

Female bonobos manage to dominate males because they form coalitions of two or more whenever they perceive a male is challenging them. It doesn’t take males long to stop trying and to realize who’s in charge. But how exactly are these females, who are unrelated and who disperse from their kin, able to form power coalitions in the first place? It’s the sex, Parish told me. “They choose what feels good, and what feels especially good is having sex with other females, probably because of the front-facing, relatively exposed, innervated clitoris.”

In fact, Parish told me, when a female bonobo is solicited simultaneously by a female and a male, she will tend to pick the female (other primatologists have observed this preference as well). On my second day observing the bonobos with Parish, then-three-year-old Belle sat directly in front of us, right up against the glass. She had a long piece of grass looped around her torso, like a necklace. Her legs were splayed, and she poked between them with one finger. She was playing with her clitoris, which was about the size of a large pencil eraser. Clearly, she was enjoying herself.

Another day, Parish and I watched Belle mount her big sister Maddie, who was lying on her back; they indulged in some genital-to-genital swishing back and forth. Bonobos don’t just reduce tension with sex. Females are grinding and G-to-G-ing their way to establishing goodwill and connectedness, or reinforcing goodwill and connectedness already in place, using sex to build a sisterhood of sorts. And bonobo sisterhood is powerful. “We don’t see infanticide or females being sexually coerced, and we don’t see males being aggressive to females in any way,” Parish explained. “But we cannot ignore female bonobo violence toward males and female dominance among bonobos.” 

I was momentarily stunned by the simplicity and profundity of what Parish was asserting. Our closest non-human primate relatives are non-monogamous. Females have baroque anogenital swellings, the better to attract the interest of multiple males, not one “best” alpha guy. In fact, there are no alpha guys, because they are a society of alpha gals. And this is so mostly thanks to gals preferring sex with one another. Which they do because of how wonderful it feels to rub their front-facing, exposed, and richly innervated clitorides (yes, that’s the plural of clitoris) together. 

It all begs a number of questions about our world and the bonobo world, which we might think of as the original hookup culture. If human females lived under these conditions — a world that was female bonded, female affiliative, and female dominant, and where females had the freedom to be blatantly pleasure focused — then sex on college campuses would look very different indeed. It certainly wouldn’t be about women serving men’s needs at the expense of having their own fulfilled, as Peggy Orenstein discusses in her book Girls and Sex. Affirmative consent, analyzed so thoroughly by Vanessa Grigoriadis in Blurred Lines and familiar to millions of teens in the U.S. thanks to a video comparing it to offering someone tea, would not be an issue — men would not dream of assaulting women in a world where sex happens publicly, women are there to watch it all happen, and “Girl Power” is the actual order of things, not some abstract motto about how things might be.

More generally, Parish’s work is richly suggestive of other possibilities: What if human sexuality is more like bonobo sexuality than chimp sexuality? Specifically, what if human female sexuality is as much informed by our bonobo sisters as it is by comparatively abject chimp females (who risk violence when they themselves have multiple, rapidly sequential consorts during and also outside of estrus)? What if all our presumptions of alpha males being dominant adventurers in sexual conquest, and women as passive recipients seeking a single dominant male’s attention, come from the long shadow cast by a culture of containment and control, not from how we evolved? What if women are in fact “wired,” at some level, to be sexually dominant and promiscuous, and to use sex for pleasure and building social bonds with other women — and it is primarily environment that has resulted in our behaving otherwise?  The bonobo sisterhood is part of the arc of humanness. Are we ready to acknowledge it?

This excerpt is from Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong And How The New Science Can Set Us Free by Wednesday Martin (Little, Brown Spark, 2019).

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There is a moment in Parasite where everything changes. I won’t tell you how, or why, but at some point, everything you think you know about this movie goes out the window. It morphs into something darker, more complex, and somehow even more entertaining than what came before. It’s exhilarating, unexpected and, frankly, wild. 

In a perfect world, you’d go into this movie knowing absolutely nothing about it. And yet, it’s been hard to escape the hype around Parasite, ever since it premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in May. And I’ll admit, I was skeptical. A movie that sustains a 100% Rotten Tomatoes rating after over 100 reviews, wins the Cannes Palme D’Or by unanimous vote, sells out festival screenings in minutes, and causes people to wait in line for stand-by tickets four hours in advance, has a lot to live up to. But director Bong Joon-ho’s (The Host, Okja) latest film really is that good. So good, in fact, that it’s the kind of movie that marks time. There is your life before Parasite, and your life after Parasite. 

Set in Seoul, South Korea, Parasite begins with the travails of the Kim family. Unemployed former driver Ki-taek (Song Kang-ho) lives with his wife, Choong-sook (Jang Hye-jin), their son Ki-woo (Choi Woo-ski) and daughter Ke-jeon (Park So-Dam) in a bug-infested basement apartment, where they fold pizza boxes for a local company to try and make ends meet. But when Ki-woo’s friend suggests he take over for him as an English tutor for the wealthy Park family, the Kims see a once in a lifetime opportunity. One by one, family members make themselves indispensable to the Parks’ daily lives: Ki-woo, who adopts the English name Kevin, introduces Ke-jeon as a friend and potential art therapist named Jessica; Ki-taek replaces the Park’s personal driver after a not-so-accidental firing; and following a scarring incident involving peaches, Choon-sook takes over for the amiable housekeeper, Moon-gwang (Lee Jeong-eun). 

In that sense, the Kims are literal parasites, latching onto the Parks for a quick payday. But while another movie would either celebrate or condemn that behavior, Parasite is not in the business of judgment. Nothing is simple here — something is no sooner sublime then it’s grotesque, things are hopeful and then disastrous. What matters is how the characters navigate the space between those extremes that are, in fact, so closely tied to each other.  

At no point do the Parks realize that the people who have conveniently entered their lives at this coincidental juncture are related. They’re used to relying on word-of-mouth recommendations, a system that keeps their circle as insular as possible. “They’re rich, but still nice,” Ki-taek tells his wife at some point in the film. “They’re nice because they’re rich,” she retorts. Therein lies the crux of Parasite as a parable on class struggle: There is no rich without poor, and no poor without rich. The two live in symbiosis  —  organisms that feed off each other to maintain the balance. But in Parasite, that balance gets thrown off, and as a result, all hell breaks loose. 

It feels wrong to pick stand-outs in such a powerful group of actors, but Song Kang-ho (on his third collaboration with the director), Choi Woo-sik, and Park So-dam are absolutely mesmerizing. And though the Kim clan get the majority of showy moments, the Parks hold their own. Jo Yeo-jong gives one of the most destabilizing and multi-layered portrayals of a housewife as Park Yeon-kyo. The way she carries around her white Pomerians! Obsessed. 

Bong deploys his visuals for maximum impact. In a recent interview with Vulture, he revealed that each scene is blocked out and shot in a very specific fashion. Unlike most directors, he doesn’t play around with shots from multiple covering multiple angles and then pick one to use in an edit — what you see is his one and only vision. 

In this case, what you see tells you more about what’s going on than what people are actually saying. Just take the Park’s sleek, tasteful house, essentially a main character in itself. On the surface, we see clean lines and expensive furnishings — the pinnacle of aspirational living. But within, the house conceals a much darker truth, one it’s literally stacked on top of. Cinematographer Hong Kyung-pyo (Snowpiercer) builds each scene so carefully that you could pause any frame, and find some visual element to parse through. 

And believe me, you’ll think about it. Parasite is incredibly fun to watch, and an experience unlike any other I’ve had in a theater before. But when the lights turn on and you go out into the world, you’ll find it’s still stuck in your brain. It’s name should have been the first hint — Parasite is part of you now. Good luck freeing yourself from it. 

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A monolithic coliseum, intimidating and gleaming in the sun, materializes in the desert like a mirage. Inside, seven men clad in black and metallics stand tall in its center, facing the thousands gathered to watch them. 

The scene that opens South Korean supergroup SuperM’s debut music video, “Jopping,” is an apt metaphor for K-pop’s most buzzed-about new act — donning their armor, the gladiators prepare to take on one of the most intimidating contenders of them all: the U.S. market.

In August, Korean music juggernaut SM Entertainment, in partnership with Capitol Records and its subdivision Caroline, announced that it would debut a new K-pop supergroup featuring the cream of the crop, pulled from some of SM’s most popular active groups. These acts combined (SHINee, EXO, NCT 127, WayV) have sold more than 14 million adjusted albums and garnered nearly four billion views of their music videos. Though SM has experimented with a few supergroups in the past, this announcement was especially mind-blowing to K-pop fans, as it promised to take a cross-section of some of the very best dancers, singers, and rappers in the business — an Olympic-level performance team.

Taemin, 26, is the industry vet, who joined K-pop darling SHINee as its maknae (youngest member) in 2008. Along with a successful career in the group as its charismatic main dancer, he also has made a name for himself through his popular solo work, dramatic and often androgynous looks, and sultry vocals. From EXO — a group so revered they were chosen to perform at the 2018 PyeongChang Olympic Closing Ceremony — is SuperM’s leader Baekhyun, 27, known for his killer sense of humor and soaring tenor. Then there’s Kai, 25, the ballet-trained dancer whose secret weapon is a combination of long, sharp lines and arresting looks.

From subunits of the 21-person umbrella group, NCT, is NCT 127’s bright-faced Canadian rapper Mark, 20, and its 24-year-old charismatic leader and rapper Taeyong. And from the Chinese-language unit WayV is the quadrilingual Thai triple-threat Ten, 23, as well as 6-foot-something, 20-year-old striking Hong Kong-born rapper Lucas.

While the announcement garnered a monsoon of excitement online, it was also met with a hefty dose of skepticism and criticism. Some were upset that the activities of NCT 127, EXO, and WayV would be put on hold, and felt bad for the remaining members. But the most vocal faction seemed to float somewhere in the middle, unsure of what to make of the all-star lineup. One thing was sure: the sheer talent would be next-level. But SuperM was notably announced as group aiming to appeal to an international audience and debut in the U.S. — would that mean stripping it of its K-pop identity to make it palatable to the American mainstream?

That fear was all but quelled with one word: “Jopping.” The lead single off of SuperM’s self-titled seven-track EP is a bombastic, genre-bending dance track that blends English and Korean, and even samples the Avengers theme — apt for the self-proclaimed “Avengers of K-pop.” 

K-pop can now can add “Jopping” — a blend of the words “jumping” and “popping” — to its lexicon, joining the ranks of “Boombayah,” “Dumb Litty,” and “kitty-incidence.” Not only is the title very K-pop, but the song is classic SM. In fact, it evokes a specific company-coined sonic style called SMP, or SM Music Performance, which is choreography synced with a mix of rock, R&B, and hip-hop beats.

“It’s our debut single and first appearance as SuperM, so we knew that we had to do something that shows off all our best sides — whether it be our style or each of our personas and characters,” the affable Mark tells Refinery29 following SuperM’s debut Los Angeles showcase. “We knew that ‘Jopping’ had a large feeling to it and we knew that only something that big could contain our performances, our raps, our singing, and our dancing.”

It’s a bold move. Many K-pop acts looking to make it in the U.S. have opted to collaborate with big-name Stateside artists, or even release straightforward pop/hip-hop English-language songs that do everything to hide even a trace of a foreign accent. But SuperM deliberately chose to take a risk.

“Now that we’re entering the American market, we could have released a song that suits the American taste better, but that’s not what distinguishes us as a group,” says Kai, a silver Rolling Stones necklace adorning his graceful neck. “We chose ‘Jopping’ because we wanted to show something that hasn’t been done in the States. Also, given that we’ve pulled together all these great members for this kind of performance, we saw a potential in this song to captivate the world and show our identity.”

“It gives us an opportunity to show fans a variety of styles, and prove that we can pull off anything,” adds the purple-haired Taeyong.

Dig deeper into the EP, and the tracks reveal a roadmap that winds even deeper into the group’s Korean identity. Take “I Can’t Stand The Rain,” an immense electro-pop song that opens with echoing traditional Korean drums and whose chorus is cradled by a classic haegeum melody. The synthy R&B B-side “2 Fast” features a classic K-pop tempo change halfway through, slowing down during the bridge before picking up the beat and adding undulating trills of vocal distortion.

“We’re from Asia,” says cotton candy-haired Baekhyun, who’s taken quickly to his leadership role. “We wanted to emphasize the harmony between Western and Asian music. That’s why the drums and haegeum are on that Westernized beat [in ‘I Can’t Stand The Rain’]. With ‘2 Fast’, the sudden change within the track is very K-pop because K-pop itself changes all the time. There’s no limitation and it takes on many different forms. This song is just another representation of that, and how we try to differentiate ourselves.”

“I’m honestly constantly learning from these six people how we can best represent SM’s history and show Americans what K-pop is,” says Lucas, who palpably relaxes when he speaks in Chinese. “I’m learning how, through this music industry, to be a vessel for spreading culture, thought, and happiness.”

And people are certainly noticing. After releasing their EP, SuperM delivered a blowout debut showcase in LA. Hundreds of roaring fans gathered to watch their first performance in Capitol Records’ backlot, which was streamed live around the world on YouTube. The group has since sat on Ellen’s couch, and announced a 10-date North American tour that includes New York City’s Madison Square Garden. It’s a promising beginning for the septet, and something that Mark didn’t think he’d ever see growing up.

“Growing up in Canada and being in the West, nobody really knew about K-pop unless they were Korean,” he says, his expressive eyes growing contemplative. “To see a Korean group like SuperM that’s so powerful, making an impact on America and sharing their energy and story, and to have Amercian fans come and run to us to see our synergy, is something I’d never thought that I’d see, nevertheless be a part of. I always try to remind myself how lucky I am to bridge two cultures together. It’s a cool moment.”

Though the EP is rumored to make a strong debut on the Billboard 200 next week, it seems unlikely that the average American will be “jopping” anytime soon. But it’s not about simply putting out songs that can dominate charts or airwaves right away — if that were the case, we’d be hearing a much more Western-sounding lead single.

It all comes back to an ethos instilled by SM’s founder and K-pop pioneer, Lee Soo Man. “I love what I heard from him yesterday,” says Ten with a quiet confidence. “Be humble, and learn from other people. Don’t put yourself above other people. Then, if you do that, you’ll rise higher without knowing.”

It’s about promoting cross-cultural understanding, and hoping to change minds enough for the world to make room for what Korean culture has to offer.

“K-pop itself is not just a music genre, but a whole cultural phenomenon,” says Taemin warmly. “It includes fashion, music, and so much more. When other people look at K-pop with a more traditional Western lens, or when people listen to it, it may sound like a combination of all different genres. Although it might sound unfamiliar at first, I think it’s in the process of being blended into the mix of U.S. culture. Hopefully, SuperM can also make a contribution.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

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Welcome to Money Diaries, where we’re tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We’re asking women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a Partner working in Private Equity who has a joint income of $325,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on a Louis Vuitton duffel bag.

Occupation: Partner
Industry: Private Equity
Age: 45
Location: Suburban Chicago
Salary: $325,000 joint — my share is $115,000.
My Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $2,954.16
My Husband’s Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $5,857.85
Gender Identity: Woman

Monthly Expenses
Mortgage: $3,400 (we have a 10-year-old daughter, B.)
Student Loans: $300 (at 0.5% basically free money. Our balance is $28,000.) HOA dues, Property Taxes, and Home Insurance: $2,000
Term Life Insurance: $115
Electricity, Natural Gas, Home Security, Garbage Collection: $335
House Cleaner & Lawncare: $185
Cable and Netflix: $210
Spotify (Family): $14.99
Gogo Inflight Internet: $49.95 (reimbursed)
Mobile: $115 (we pay for parents’ lines and my own)
Crossfit: $185 (for my husband, H.)
Husband’s Gym: $45
Peleton: $39
Commuter Rail and Parking: $210
Child’s Activities: $750
Amazon Prime: $119 (annual)
Credit Card Fees: $1,175 (annual)
Arsenal FC Season Tickets: $4,500 (annual)
Retirment Savings: $48,050 (anually, including employer match — current balance is $900,000)
529 Plan: $550 (For our daughter’s school, current balance $225,000)
Family Trust Investment: $2,650 (current balance $125,000, if we have anything left over, we transfer it to a high yield savings account for projects, current balance $25,000)
We also donate anonymously to five non-profits totaling in the mid five-figures every year.

Day One

6 a.m. — I am a former party animal/night owl. Every morning is a struggle to get out of bed, regardless of how early I turn in the night before. Today is no exception. When the alarm goes off, of course, I hit snooze.

6:09 a.m. — As I am about to hit snooze again, I can tell my mom made breakfast — the scent of fried plantains and fresh coffee is beckoning me out of bed. I’m sofa king exhausted. Now that I’m in my mid-40s, I’m gaining weight although my workout schedule and diet hasn’t really changed. I also have difficulty falling asleep and I cut back on drinking as a result. I take my meds: Prozac, baby aspirin, and Vitamin D. I also brush my teeth, wash my face (Chanel), moisturize (Algenist), sunscreen (Neutrogena), and put on mascara (Hourglass). I wear a pair of vintage cigarette pants, a blouse, and tweed blazer. I pack stilettos in a drawstring bag and toss them into my work tote. I wear a pair of Stan Smiths for the commute, and join my parents and my daughter, B., downstairs for breakfast.

6:45 a.m. — I head to work in Chicago on the commuter rail. My monthly pass is $181; if you commute for 14 workdays per month, you basically break even. My parents get B. on the school bus and head back to their house. I appreciate their help so I can make it to work on time. When H. is not traveling, he works from home and takes care of B.’s needs. I get into work and head right into meetings.

11:30 a.m. — I hail an Uber to my former business school. A new school year is in full swing, and the alumni office hosts panel discussions for new students. Alumni are asked to share our experiences about life during and after B-school. I did not plan to be a stay at home mom for the first seven years of my daughter’s existence, but life had other ideas. I faced a lot of setbacks while trying to re-enter the workforce, but when we moved back to the Chicago area three years ago, I got a job quickly. I essentially started over and was made a partner a few months ago. I’m grateful my career is back on track. However, in my mind, I’m still way behind the rest of my peers. $23.50

12 p.m. — I sit in on a few panels and then join an alumni lunch where I catch up with a few classmates. Meanwhile, B. has school lunch. $2.70

6:10 p.m. — The panel discussions are over and mine went pretty well! After a brief reception where I indulge in a glass of wine, I share an Uber with some current students who are also headed downtown. My companions don’t let me split the cost with them, so I tip the driver $10 in cash since he made multiple stops (and I’m the last). I walk/jog the rest of the way to Union Station in my Stan Smiths. $10

6:55 p.m. — I missed the train I planned to take and the next one isn’t for another 35 minutes. So… I call an Uber pool to the suburbs. While in the car, I FaceTime with H., who is waiting for his flight home. He travels at least two out of every five workdays, so we are used to him being away. He tells me he already supervised our daughter’s PT exercises by video chat and said goodnight to her. Hooray for technology. $35.70

7:40 p.m. — When I walk into the house, my parents are taking out a roast beef from the oven. Hooray! B. bounds down the stairs and gives me a quick hug before setting the dinner table. Dinner is so delicious. My parents also steamed jasmine rice and roasted Brussels sprouts with pork belly.

8:45 p.m. — After taking care of dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, my mom helps me fill out some immigration paperwork at the kitchen table. At the time I was born, my parents were not yet naturalized as US citizens. I need to fill out some forms and bring copies of my parents’ documents to prove that while I was born in the United States. Once this is completed, I can apply for my dual citizenship (the US and the Philippines) and obtain a passport. I didn’t think this would be something I wanted to pursue, but in order to own property in the Philippines, you need to be a citizen. We’re working on our long-term retirement plan and want to create options for our family. Who knows? Maybe we can build a beach house in Palawan?

9:30 p.m. — My parents are asleep when B. and I get ready for bed. We do our skincare together, making sure we both wash our faces and moisturize. I also take Trazadone (sleep/depression) and Singulair (allergies). We’re asleep by 10.

Daily Total: $71.90

Day Two

1 a.m. — H. finally arrives home from the airport and joins me in bed. I roll over and go back to sleep.

5:30 a.m. — I jolt out of bed as I hear the alarm clock, mostly not to wake up H. After doing my morning routine, I put on a black pencil skirt, a black pussy bow (if only there was a better description, but you know what I mean) blouse and a black blazer, and pack low heeled pumps in my work bag. I wear flats as commuting shoes. My parents are already awake, having coffee and reading the paper. My dad offers to make me breakfast, but I let him know I have to leave much earlier today because of a work meeting. I give them hugs goodbye and thank them for their help.

6:47 a.m. — I pick up a pre-ordered grande no-whip mocha from Starbucks at Union Station as I head to a nearby bus stop (I have an offsite meeting today). $4.96

7:03 a.m. — The bus arrives exactly as Google Maps predicted. It’s kind of impressive how technology has made commuting easier. On the way, I sip my coffee and flip through my script. Once there, I have some breakfast provided by work. $2.25

10:45 a.m. — I get through my presentation without a hitch and once it’s done, I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

12:30 p.m. — All of our presentations are done, and we are hosting a lunch. My company is old school — we have a five-course meal complete with two wine pairings. It’s probably the best meal I get from my employer. Back at home, H. has leftover roast beef for lunch and he packed B. lunch as well.

2 p.m. — Our guests have departed, and the team is sitting around a table at lunch, finishing the wine and eating the sweets. I ask a server if he could box up a few floral arrangements and the petit fours for our staff back at the office. I share a cab ride back to the office with the other female partners. ($12 expensed)

5:15 p.m. — I’m on my regular train home and my brain is totally fried. I was supposed to have a dinner for one of the non-profit boards that I sit on, but thankfully it was canceled at the last minute. I’m so grateful to be going home on time. H. picks up some last-minute groceries from Heinen’s. Since he is the family cook, he wants to have the freshest ingredients available when he wants it. It’s annoying that he goes food shopping at least four times a week, but I find we don’t have a lot of rotting produce or stale pantry staples. If he doesn’t mind all this work, I can’t complain, I guess? $33.26

6 p.m. — So happy to be home with H. and B. Dinner is cacio e pepe, which H. prepares so well. I enjoy a massive bowl of pasta and shower my husband with thanks.

7 p.m. — I take a 45-minute spin class on the Peloton bike, rinse off, and respond to emails on my phone. H. supervises B. with her physical therapy exercises. She has Osgood Schlatters, and her knee has nagging pain since she started lacrosse last year.

9 p.m. — After H. and I tuck our kiddo in bed, we research flights for a quick trip to London in November. H. has season tickets to Arsenal FC and usually goes to three or four games a year. It seems silly, right? Here’s our reasoning — if you buy a whole season of tickets, you get better seats. It’s easy to resell the games that H. doesn’t attend at a premium and it covers the cost of the whole season. Basically, H. goes to the games he wants for free. B. doesn’t want to come because she doesn’t want to miss school. My parents will be with her while we are away. My dad is B.’s favorite person, and they are making special plans that weekend. H. and I find a decent fare; we will sit in Coach on the way there and Premium Economy on the way home, because I have to go straight to the office as soon as we land. $2,394.06

9:30 p.m. — H. wants to see Death of a Salesman while we are in London because Wendell Pierce is starring as Willy Loman. I do not believe Arthur Miller intended for this play to be performed by an all-black cast, so we think it will be an enlightening experience. The production has had great reviews. We buy two tickets online for an evening performance during our trip then go to bed. $228.67

Daily Total: $2,663.20

Day Three

6:30 a.m. — B. crawls into bed with me to snuggle. H. is already up and blending smoothies downstairs. For a minute, I think I am running late for work, but we have B.’s parent-teacher conference today. I already told my team I would be at work around 9. Phew! I wear my preferred work uniform of black jeans, a sweater, and high heeled boots.

7:40 a.m. — All three of us head to school for her parent-teacher conference. It’s always good to get an update on how B. is doing at school. When we ask her how things are going, she just says, “Fine.” and doesn’t offer much more info. Typical.

8 a.m. — H. and B. drop me off at commuter rail station. At this time of the day, my regular parking lot is full, and the only available spaces are about 3/4 mile in the opposite direction of our house. It’s easier for me to just walk home if that is the case. Because of parent-teacher conferences, B. doesn’t have school today. She plans to veg out in the morning, and we arranged for her BFF to come over in the afternoon for a sleepover.

9:15 a.m. — On the way to the office, I pick up a mocha from Caffe Rom. Things are quiet at my company after the frenzy of yesterday’s meeting. I’m so glad for some peace. $4.55

11:45 a.m. — My loves have Chipotle for lunch. B. recently discovered burritos and apparently her world is suddenly brand new. $23.27

1 p.m. — I suddenly realize I’m hungry. There is a cafeteria-style spot diagonally across from our building and they have a delightful sushi buffet. It costs $12.95 per pound and I pay $8.84 for 14 pieces. Heaven! $8.84

3:30 p.m. — H. picks up groceries at Heinen’s market: a block of Parmigiano Reggiano, wine, chicken breasts, romaine lettuce, anchovies. $31.69

5:15 p.m. — TGIF! H. texts me that B. and her BFF are having a good time, and he made Chicken Parmesan and Caesar salad. “What wine can I open for you with dinner?” Bless this man. I request a glass of chianti.

6:30 p.m. — Everyone sits down for dinner at our dining table. B.’s BFF announces that chicken parm is her favorite starting right now. She is so sweet!

7:30 p.m. — H. does not look well AT ALL. I send him to bed, take care of dishes, and scrub down the kitchen. The girls seem to have trouble signing into Xbox One, so I stop what I am doing momentarily to help them out. Minecraft is a priority for the tweens, I guess.

10 p.m. — I’m tired, but H. is snoring loudly. I’m pretty sure that if I sleep in our room, all I would think about is how to murder my husband. I decide it’s better for everyone if I sleep in a guest room. This way, G can get some semblance of sleep and I won’t get his cold. Or punch him.

11:30 p.m. — I think I hear the girls giggling. Do I get up and tell them to sleep? Nah, who sleeps at a sleepover? Thankfully neither of them has to be anywhere important in the morning.

Daily Total: $68.35

Day Four

7:45 a.m. — H. tries to gently wake me up. Urgent care opens up in 15 minutes and he is headed there soon.

8:14 a.m. — I wake up to a text from H. saying the insurance did not go through. I groggily head downstairs to my desk to text him photos of my insurance card so he can pay the copay. $30

8:50 a.m. — H. is home and yes, he has strep. He washes his hands and makes a batch of challah French toast for his favorite girls. I prep a blender bottle of BCAAs and get ready for the day. I wear my favorite weekend clothes: leggings, a sports bra, tank top, and running shoes.

9:30 a.m. — I go to a SoulCycle class. I bought a 10-pack class a while ago, so I use one of those classes. My recent weight gain is bothering me. I think menopause is coming sooner than planned because my diet hasn’t changed, and I work out a lot. As much as I try to fight this, I think it’s inevitable that I will have to accept that I may not be able to control this. That being said, making human connections and working out regularly has helped a lot through my bout of depression.

10 a.m. — H. and B. drop her BFF off at home and stop at Walgreen’s to pick up antibiotics and buy a new toothbrush since he has to throw his current one away. $6.45

10:45 a.m. — After a quick shower at SoulCycle (the LeLabo products are pretty nice), I join a friend, L., at a nearby Starbucks. She buys herself a flat white and I order a Grande Mocha $5. I haven’t seen L. for months because of our schedules. She is 20 years younger than I am and I’m grateful for the fact that while we are not in similar stages in life, we hit it off. This is a relationship I did not have in my 20’s and would have appreciated it a great deal. $5

1 p.m. — I leave coffee to go to a wake of an old school friend. He was a person of integrity and very smart and his passing is very shocking to everyone. Losing him forces my friends and me to think about our own mortality and how we spend our time above the ground. After the wake, I fill my car tank with gas and head home. $35.88

3 p.m. — I get home, eat lunch, and take a nap.

5:30 p.m. — B. and I head to a small music venue to see an artist she is mildly obsessed with called Cavetown. It’s only when I back the car out of the driveway that I notice that it’s raining cats and dogs. Waze says it will take one hour to get there, but as the weather gets progressively worse, the ETA extends longer and longer. My kid starts to freak out that we’ll be late.

7:13 p.m. — I find a parking spot four blocks away and pay for parking using the Chicago Park app. I try to explain to B. that although the tickets say “Doors 7 p.m.” doesn’t mean that the show starts at that time. I assure her that Cavetown won’t hit the stage earlier than 9. $4

7:30 p.m. — After checking my ID (I need to know how strict staff is because soon my daughter will be coming here without me) and picking up our will call tickets, B. and I belly up to the bar to buy: a hot dog, popcorn, two bottles of Fiji Water, and a glass of Pinot Noir for me. $30

7:45 p.m. — H. is starting to feel a lot better and goes to the nearby movie theater to watch the Downton Abbey movie. I’m glad that he didn’t wait for me, because with our schedules these days, he may never see it. He loves his Dowager Countess. $13.75

8 p.m. — B. wants to check out the merch and the line is long. We wait in line while B. has her snacks. We can hear the first act, Jackie Hayes, on stage. I haven’t heard her music before and it’s always nice to hear something new. B. asks me to buy her a Cavetown hoodie and t-shirt. $75

8:25 p.m. — Chloe Moriondo hits the stage. She’s adorkable. I love her. When she announces to the audience that she recently came out as a lesbian, the crowd cheers. It’s so encouraging! B. came out to me about four months ago and I try my best to be as positive as I can, but I always second guess myself. So B. and I have an agreement: I have a lot to learn and will be learning alongside you. I will make mistakes, but nothing will change how much your dad and I love you. You can love whoever you want, and so long as they are a good person and you are loved back — we love him/her/them too. But if I say something that comes off wrong, you need to tell me. I need to know how you interpret my words so I can learn better for next time. We need to communicate no matter what.

9 p.m. — The crowd is getting hyped by, I kid you not, SpongeBob Squarepants songs. I’m definitely feeling my age. I also realize that my digital parking meter needs to be reloaded, because you have to pay for parking until 10, so I add more value on the app. $2.35 including convenience fees. $2.35

9:15 p.m. — Cavetown is finally onstage. My daughter is so happy, and I’m grateful to be here to witness her joy. The lead singer is very sweet, and his music is quite mellow. I’m kind of glad that B. enjoys live music and that going to concerts is our thing together.

10:40 p.m. — The show is over, and we walk to our car. When we get home, we both crash immediately.

Daily Total: $202.43

Day Five

7:37 a.m. — I wake up and I’m exhausted, but wash up and start the day. I know B. will be exhausted so I let her sleep in.

8:10 a.m. — I put on workout gear, prep a blender bottle of BCAAs, and kiss H. a goodbye and head out the door.

8:50 a.m. — I score a parking spot right in front of Barry’s Bootcamp and pay for two hours using the Park Chicago app. $8

9:15 a.m. — Time for Barry’s. It’s my second class, ever. I took a friend here three weeks ago as a birthday treat instead of the usual dinner and drinks. In order to pay her without her knowing the expense, I paid for an intro pack of three classes for $60 and signed her up as my guest. I thought her husband might join us, but he did not. I have one more class to use before it expires next week. Single classes are usually $30, so this one is essentially free. Barry’s is a lot of fun and I know I will be sore later today, but I cannot do this on the regular. While I don’t belong to a gym, I recently paid for the Lululemon Chicago membership, which comes with a free class at a gym in the city once per month. I will end up driving all over the place for those classes, as well. I bet you are wondering why I’m a member at all. It’s because the membership came with a pair of Align II 25″ seam leggings with “312 CHI 773” down one of the legs and I’m a complete sucker.

10:30 a.m. — I try a Mochalicious smoothie from Barry’s Fuel Bar on the way out the door. It tastes pretty good, but it’s not amazing. Just expensive. At least I know for the future. $10.04

11 a.m. — When I get home, I take a quick shower. I throw on a pair of skinny jeans, a sweater and boots. H. and I decide to go to lunch while B. is at a birthday party.

11:30 a.m. — Sadly, neither H. nor I enjoy our meals. I order a chicken schnitzel with German potato salad, and it is meh. H.’s fish and chips are not so good either. We know better for next time. Order the burgers, or don’t go. $54

12:30 p.m. — We pick up B. from the birthday party and drive her to her lacrosse practice and game. Our tollway pass automatically replenishes because of this drive. $20

4 p.m. — Back home with B.’s friend in tow. The girls drop their lacrosse gear by the door and get down to the business of playing Minecraft. I clean up the kitchen while H. places a take-out order — one chopped salad, a medium pizza (1/2 cheese, 1/2 Hawaiian for the girls), and a medium Rudy’s special pizza. $57.89

4:30 p.m. — H. heads out to get the food and get gas for his car. $28.17

4:40 p.m. — He decides to stop at Target first to buy a few grocery items (orange juice, thin Oreos, a half-gallon of Naked juice, Sprite, a case of LaCroix, a large bag of frozen chicken breasts, a rack of ribs, a large back of frozen tropical fruit, seedless grapes, a dozen eggs, and a box of butter). $59.16

7 p.m. — After dinner, H. and B. drive her friend home. I start laundry. With an athletic kid, and a husband in sports nutrition, we have an ass-ton of laundry every week. I have to pre-soak it all in buckets with a scoop of Rockin’ Green Platinum Series Laundry detergent. I notice we are running low, so I order another bag from Amazon.com $20.95

8:45 p.m. — I start feeling sick with a cough and the chills. I quarantine myself in the guest room because I cannot stop coughing and fire up my iPad to watch the season premiere of Mr. Robot via Xfinity app. I’m not going to spoil it, but that was sofa king intense.

10:30 p.m. — The last of our laundry is either in the dryer or hanging. I finally drift off to sleep.

Daily Total: $258.21

Day Six

6:30 a.m. — I wake up feeling terrible and my throat is on fire. After texting my admin to let her know I’m not well, I go back to bed.

8 a.m. — I force myself out of bed and go to urgent care. H. stops at Jewel-Osco to pick up meat for pot roast and some parsnips. $25.42

9 a.m. — Yep. Strep. Good times. $30 copay. $30

9:15 a.m. — I pick up my meds from Walgreens ($1.45 copay), throw out my toothbrush head, order a new one from Quip.com ($5), break out the free toothbrush you get from the dentist, and go back to bed. H. makes pot roast in the slow cooker and brews peppermint tea for me. $6.45

10:45 a.m. — My mom FaceTimes me to say hello from Barcelona. My parents are having a great time. She also tells me they took a walk to the Louis Vuitton on Paseo de Garcia. I had my eye on a Keepall 45 Monogram Eclipse Bandolier bag because my current work travel bag is 20 years old and has seen better days. Mom says she got one for me. With the current exchange rate and AT refund, it cost $1,267. Thanks so much! My mom just saved me $717 (compared to paying full retail and Illinois sales tax). I Venmo my mom (she’s a hip septuagenarian) the money and try to go back to sleep. $1,267

11:30 a.m. — I’m hungry. H. is at his regular therapist appointment ($50), so I make lunch for both of us: chicken cutlets pounded thin, breaded and fried, with lettuce, tomatoes, and Russian dressing. H. arrives home just as I finish making them. Perfect timing. $50

1 p.m. — I spend the rest of the afternoon on conference calls or tightening up my meetings for later this year.

2:50 p.m. — B. is home, off the school bus. She has thin Oreos and milk as a snack. She pops her head into the guest room to say hi and we chat about her day. I get a lot of one-word answers, which is her normal.

4 p.m. — H. drives B. to her lacrosse practice and works on his laptop at a nearby Starbucks. $2.95 for an iced tea. $2.95

6:30 p.m. — We have dinner together in the dining room. Pot roast is not my favorite, but the broth is so soothing to my throat tonight. I’m not sure if the antibiotics are kicking in yet, so I’ll do whatever it takes to get better quickly.

7:30 p.m. — H. takes care of the dishes and cleans up the kitchen. I try to help him, but he suggests I go to sleep instead. I’m not going to argue. Since we both have the same malady, I think it’s ok for me to move back into our room. I pack my work bag for the next day (just in case), wash my skin, brush my teeth, and go straight to bed.

Daily Total: $1,381.82

Day Seven

6:30 a.m. — I wake up and feel so much better; my throat doesn’t feel raw. I check my work calendar and realize it would be better for all if I went to the office in case someone needs to talk with me, so I get out of bed. H. and B. are feeling well and in upbeat moods, chatting over breakfast smoothies.

7:15 a.m. — I try to keep my distance from others while on the train. At this point I know I am not contagious, but having strep isn’t fun for anyone.

8:00 a.m. — I pick up a chai tea latte on the way to the office. When I arrive, I chat with one of our admins who recently gave her two weeks notice. It will not be the same without her here, but we all grow. I make plans to take her for drinks after work next week. Once I get to my desk, I respond to e-mails and phone calls I missed yesterday. $4.74

8:10 a.m. — H. sees his chiropractor for an adjustment ($25 copay). $25

11 a.m. — My work colleagues have been in and out of my office asking for guidance on analysis or getting my permission for a few to-do items. I let them know I’m not feeling so great and to keep their distance. H. is pressed for time, so he orders a burger and onion rings via Uber Eats for lunch. $23.67

12 p.m. — B. gets lunch from the school cafeteria. $2.70

12:05 p.m. — I pre-order a Chipotle Cowboy Salad from Just Salad using my Ritual App. $11.70

12:55 p.m. — My phone notifies me to start walking to Just Salad and pick up my lunch. I eat it at my desk. I like Just Salad, but the line can be long sometimes. It’s helpful to order and pay ahead, but the wait can be an hour. That’s nuts!

3:19 p.m. — I finalize a work trip and purchase my plane ticket, round trip to Los Angeles. This will be reimbursed by my employer, so I immediately submit the receipt with my itinerary in order to get a check cut ASAP. ($318.60 expensed)

4:45 p.m. — The office is dead! After wiping down my desk, phone, keyboard, and doorknobs with a Lysol wipe, I leave a little early.

6 p.m. — We sit down for dinner. Tonight, H. prepared chicken stir fry. Yum!

7:30 p.m. — After dishes and kitchen clean-up, I iron a couple of H.’s dress shirts, one of my work blouses, and a stack of pillowcases. I guess I am feeling better.

8:30 p.m. — I hang out with B. in her room and watch episodes of The Brady Bunch on Prime Video.

10 p.m. — H. and I tuck B. into bed and kiss her goodnight, then we snuggle until we fall asleep.

Daily Total: $67.81

Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women’s experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

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Halloween is the perfect holiday for accidentally being unforgivably basic. So you watched Suicide Squad and thought Harley Quinn was a badass and her costume an easy enough outfit to recreate? Oh, you also thought nobody else would do Lady Gaga on Halloween 2009? We’ve all been there, and while it’s not the end of the world, sometimes it’d be good to know if your Halloween costume idea is as, let’s say, special as you feel it is.

Fret not, Google has a very wavy and majorly ‘80s-looking tool to help you find out if you’re letting your freak flag fly or if you’ve fallen prey to the zeitgeist. Google’s aptly-named “Frightgeist” is a stunning example of the power of the internet’s most reliable feature: search statistics.

Google has ranked Halloween costumes by search volume based on location. The higher on the list, the more people contemplating a given costume. And as they say on House Hunters, it’s all about “location, location, location.” Because it doesn’t really matter if IT is the most-searched costume, it only matters that nobody else in your town is planning on it.

The top-searched costumes of the last month overall are: IT, witch, Spider-Man, dinosaur, and Descendants. Also among the top ten are clowns, Fortnite, Chucky, and the 1980s, because nothing has really changed since 2017. And in another throwback twist, “unicorn” is the tenth-most-searched costume term from last month. But if you dig deeper into the rankings, you’ll start to find some worthy 2019 gems. For example, VSCO Girl, coming in at No. 74, has especially high search in Palm Springs, California and in a smattering of Mid-Western cities. So, unless you live in Palm Springs, you might just be the only VSCO Girl at the Halloween party. Or as Google puts it, “Maybe you’ll see another VSCO Girl costume at the party this year, maybe you won’t.” Either way, bring along your Hydro-Flask.

For more data, look to the upper right-hand switch that says “locally” and let Google use your location to tell you what are the most popular costumes near you. And if you really want to cut to the chase: Click on the ”Costume Wizard” and turn the “Uniqueness Level” all the way up and choose your preference on the Trend Meter (national or local) and on the Style Meter (classic to modern).

Halloween is a holiday for freaks. It’s designed for those who would feel like they’re in costume 364 days out of the year, but wear their normal clothes on October 31st. It’s the perfect opportunity to dress up like the leading characters in Ghost World or pay tribute to your favorite anime and revel in the fact that only two other people at the party caught the reference. But for the rest of us, who are looking at the calendar and realizing we have but mere weeks to decide on a decent costume, there’s Google. 

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Justin Bieber is moonlighting as a realtor. In the wee hours of the morning, he posted no fewer than 13 photos of his Beverly Hills mansion, expressing a desire to sell it. It all began with the innocuous caption “Home vibes,” which then transitioned into “Home vibes, but I wanna sell it I think anyone interested?” And then, after dipping his proverbial toe (and his literal toe — his feet are in several of the pics) into the real estate market waters, he grew more confident yet: “I think I wanna sell my home in Beverly Hills who wants it.” And then he got excited, lying on his couch with his two new $35,000 part-exotic kittens: “I’ll sell it with all the furniture. MAKE AN OFFER.”

View this post on Instagram

I think I wanna sell my home in Beverly Hills who wants it.

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Oct 11, 2019 at 2:36am PDT

View this post on Instagram

I’ll sell it with all the furniture . MAKE AN OFFER

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Oct 11, 2019 at 2:47am PDT

The house in question is a 6,100-square-foot, five-bedroom, seven-bathroom home that he just bought earlier this year for $8.5 million. Apparently, its nickname is “The Tropics.” Before moving to Beverly Hills with his betrothed, the Biebers rented a Toluca Lake mansion for $100,000 a month, which is now on the market for $8.49 million. And before that, Bieber rented a $17.9 million West Hollywood pad after selling his Calabasas mansion to Khloe Kardashian in 2014 for $7.2 million.

Honestly, maybe Justin is onto something. Like, there’s no broker fee when you list your home on Instagram directly to your 119 million followers. Of course, jury’s out as to whether it’s actually for sale — Bieber has been known to joke around on the ‘gram, like that time he fooled us all by pretending that his wife was pregnant and posting a fake ultrasound photo. But in the meantime, you heard the man. Send over those offers. Just make sure they’re for at least $8.5 million.

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Refinery29 is partnering with Girls Who Code for the #MarchForSisterhood on International Day of the Girl. This is the first-ever all-digital global march. Come back each day this week to learn about why different young women are participating, and join us as we #MarchForSisterhood on any of your social media channels this Friday, October 11, 2019.

I was 9 years old when I became a blogger, activist, and changemaker — although, I didn’t call myself any of those at the time. For me, it began by showing that if I can create change, anyone can. I was all about raising awareness around the idea that the little things we all do add up to make a big difference. If a lot of people took small actions, we could help tackle so many of the issues we’re passionate about. But we’ll get into that later. 

I’ve been told more times than I can count — both online and IRL — that I’m “too young,” that I “shouldn’t be a feminist.” But, I’ve always known I can, I should, I am.

Earlier, I mentioned the word “passionate” when I was talking about causes we can tackle. To be honest, the 9-year-old me didn’t fully understand what the word passionate meant. I learned that it’s about asking yourself questions like: What do you love? What makes you angry? What do you deeply care about? What do you want to tell the world?

For some of us, answers to those questions come because of experience or circumstance — like for those among us who have lived through bullying, gun violence, or struggles with mental health. For others it comes through learning about the world and then  becoming engaged global citizens passionate about child labor, education, or the environment. We all have different paths to our passions.

But what do you with all of that experience? That knowledge? That passion? How do you turn that into real, tangible action? These are big questions. I answer them with a formula. Don’t worry, it’s a formula that even for those among us (myself included) who aren’t so great at math can understand and use.

Issue + Gift = Change

The first part of the formula, your issue, is your passion. You’ve got that, right?

The second part, your gift, is how you’re going to take action. Finding your gift is about answering questions about what you’re good at, what you enjoy doing and the resources at your disposal. Whether your gift is science, music, art, or writing, you can use it to create good in your community and the world. Your gift can also be something like kindness, compassion, or empathy. These are such powerful emotions that can’t be underestimated. They can be used to start and amplify the conversations that need to be started, recognize the humanity in people, or even just make someone else’s day a little bit brighter. 

Pro Tip: Just as you can have many issues that you are passionate about, you probably have many gifts you can use.

Issue + Gift = Change. It works. Every changemaker I have met has used it, even if they don’t know it. Let’s take one of my personal role models as an example, Malala. Her issue is education and she has used her gift of communication to bring her issue to the forefront and has created real tangible change for millions of girls around the world. 

I have always believed in role models being a huge part of a young changemakers journey, especially a young female changemakers journey. In the face of obstacles and skeptics, we need those role models to help reaffirm our why and motivate us to believe that we have the power and the capacity to make a difference. 

The #MarchForSisterhood is full of role models with people of our own generation working tirelessly to create change everyday with the goal to inspire more people to join the journey of a changemaker. On Friday, October 11, The International Day of the Girl, the online world around us will be flooded with issues, gifts, and the women working to change them right now. It is called the #MarchForSisterhood. How can you be a part of it? On the day of the march, take that first step to find your issue and learn about it. Then, find someone who’s already taking action on the same issue that you can get guidance and inspiration from. 

On The International Day Of The Girl, our collective gift, is our community.

I march for the girl that’s told she can’t make a difference because she’s too young. Because she can. I march for the girl that’s told that being a feminist is a bad thing. Because it isn’t. Change doesn’t discriminate and I will be standing alongside her and cheering her on the entire time. What will you march for?

At the age of nine, Hannah launched her blog, Call Me Hannah, to share her growing concern for environmental issues and show that small, everyday actions can lead to big change. Today, at 16 years-old, she has emerged as an activist, impassioned public speaker and author. Hannah uses her voice and platform to motivate and empower people of all ages to identify their passion and take action for a better world.

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